New year, new me.

hello everyone! i'm sorry i haven't been updating recently of all my food adventures! its been about over a year and some months. Alot has happened and i'm slowly going through this weird transition in my life. So a heads up, this blog will no longer be JUST food post of different places i've tried. I gave it some thought and it will always be little recipes and meals i also make at home and simply my little journal on whats going through my mind every moment when i feel like i need to get my thoughts out. You may comment on anything about my grammer or whatever but this will be raw and whatever comes to my mind i'm just typing, I'm only human. Anyways, since my last post i hope everyone had an awesome christmas, new year and whatever i've missed within a year lol. I titled my post as a "new year, new me" because a lot has changed in my life and I am ready to finally talk about it. I also have been getting asked recently how i've been doing, my secret, and whats my motivation to stay fit and "cope" with my "divorce" 😂😂. Lets start off from the beginning. I was with my ex boyfriend for over 9 years, basically my high school sweetheart months after we graduated. He was my best friend, my soulmate, and was my life partner. I saw myself settling down with him, getting married, having children, and having a few dobermans to complete our life. We decided to make the biggest decision of our lives over a year ago, we bought our FIRST home together. I still can't forget that moment we signed the papers, it was the happiest moment in my life. Everything was so surreal. I had the perfect life... i still worked my ass off to be able to enjoy my life with nice things and vacations. Don't get me wrong, so did he half of our relationship. It was too good to be true.. The looking at different styles of rings.. The "extra long" work hours etc. So many emotions started to come through slowly last May. Losing a close friend, my neighbor. To my parents fighting constantly. He was there physicially, but not mentally and emotionally. I felt horrible when he approached me and said i was being distant during this time.. but it all made since after we finally separated on New years Day 2016. Yes, thats right. my life isn't perfect which everyone thought it was. I worked so hard to keep and fix this relationship but it takes two to tango. I've always been so private about my life but i'm so fed up with it with all his bullshit and lies he tells people. SO again, theres two sides to a story. I got cheated on.. still has no respect to man up and tell me the truth. No wonder you said you felt distant towards me the past year, it's because you were working "long nights" at the bar with your side chick. It has been lies on top of lies. He still claims it was not cheating. The one thing you should know about me is i'm very good at investigating and being in customer service I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE so i did my research. And again, Portland is VERY small so word spreads quick. Finding out on my own was worse than hearing it from him that he just didnt just cheat, he cheated on me with his co-worker. I've never felt so heart broken, betrayed, everything you can think of. How would you feel the house you bought with your loved one kicked you out and you had to live out of your backpack from place to place for a few months??  I'm like any other human, I went to shock mode the next 2 months. Coming back to our house occasionally to pick up some more of my stuff I found her dirty period pads on top of my trash. Real classy, at least be considerate and wrap it up. 

No one heard from me, I was depressed.. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to sleep all day and wake up somewhere else other than Portland. I felt embarrassed and stupid. I did what I knew best, put on a smile. Thats what everyone knew Lisa as. A happy, goofy chick with a carefree life. Its just still crazy to me how we had looked at engagement rings last year online to figure out what style best fits me and taking out first professional pictures the morning of when I found out about these two. And for the icing on the cake.. My parents are your typical old school Asian American family. So if you aren't Vietnamese or Chinese they don't like you. Our families all finally met last thanksgiving which warmed my heart so much. To me being single now. I'm not the type of person to put your business out there but if you fcuk with me the wrong way, I dont have a problem hinting a few things out about them. You really have to play me dirty to even get me to that point. So thats all I will say for now.

 Life has completely changed within 7 months of the breakup and i can honestly say I haven't been this happy in a long time. I don't see myself jumping into anything anytime soon. I'm loving life.. Finding myself again and who Lisa was before Nate. I've reconnected with old friends which I've missed! And I can honestly thank my ex for this! All the love that I've been getting from everyone is truly amazing! And I love you all for all the kind words everyone has been giving me! If it wasn't for my family and friends, I don't know where I would be at this moment. 

Everyone has asked me what is your motiviation to move on from this break up but basically a "divorce"? One word, GYM. it sounds silly but if i didn't contact my friend at Boomer Fitness after the New Years, I honestly don't know where I would be at today. The gym has been the best therapy for me. Taking boot camp classes 4-5 days a week with men and women all different shapes and sizes is the best thing! Everyone has their own story and why they're there also. But in the end we all want the same results, to feel good and be healthy. I've gained so many friendships there and honestly they're like family to me! Thank you to the trainers for pushing me everyday to be stronger! I'm happy I've finally gained the weight and more back. I feel content with myself. Reducing all the fast food and unhealthy shit does really help. Dont get me wrong, i still eat like shit but not as bad. Cutting back the soda completely and not having a burger from burger king daily really does help. I try and meal prep once a week. I also signed up for my first 5k obstacle course race happening in August! I just can't believe how much stuff i've missed out being with this dude that stopped me from moving forward and trying new things! Life is awesome, precious and short. I definitely have a different look on life now. I think 2016 will be a good year for me, to really focus on JUST me. Me and my dog, thats all i need. Its time to enjoy life, explore and travel alone and see what this world has to offer for me. And maybe one day I will find that special someone again to call my soul mate, but for now i'm okay. Thats not my top priority anymore. So wrapping up, ladies, or guys. Don't let a breakup pull you down, yes it will be hard in the beginning but you will pull yourself right back up. And you will be stronger.You'll think twice who you will let come into your life and will be scared, and thats ok. Its the growing and learning process. Love yourself first and focus on YOU. Because in the end, you need to put yourself first and be happy before you please anyone else in your life. Good night loves!! 💜💜💜

Love,

L